Although it is this blogger’s mission to develop content that will tap into a niche but hopefully ever-expanding audience, he sometimes can become so consumed in writing what HE wants to read he doesn’t take into account WHO he’s writing for. Neglects the very people who, if properly stimulated by his output, could launch his blog to the next level like they were shooting it out of a T-shirt cannon, past the book publishers’ mezzanine and all the way up to those glassed-in luxury boxes where the glitterati of Hollywood assemble (and probably have sex), and then eventually HE will be played by Amy Adams in a hit movie based on his galdang blog galdangit.

Social media is not supposed to be a one-sided conversation, right? This is an interactive medium, correct? Okay, so tell me what you want to read and respond to, reader(s?). Articulate your needs, your interests, and at least twice a month I’ll accommodate them. Can your psychotherapist do that? Your pet?

Tell me you want a post about how to avoid a persistent manhole, and that’s what you’ll get. (In brief: Sometimes you just have to fall in before it’ll leave you alone.)

Tell me you need a solid recipe for blueberry murder pie, and I’ve got you covered. (Tip: It’s more than just finding the proper spring-loaded knife that can withstand 400 degrees Fahrenheit.)

Also in the You Want It You Got It Department: Techniques for cheering up depressed oxen. (Summary: Knock-knock jokes and Lexapro.) Proper fashion for a night out at the bingo parlor. (Hint: Fishnet trousers, underwear optional, this isn’t your grandmother’s bingo night; incidentally, I know some things about your grandmother that will make you blush. See future post “Top 10 Secrets Too Saucy For Nana’s Deathbed Confession.”)

Now how about a piece on serial killers who also scrapbook on the side? (See related post: blueberry murder pie. My goodness, I’m starting to realize just exactly how twisted my readership is.)

Well it doesn’t matter, whatever your tastes, your whims, your fancies, simply put, I’m here for you. At your service. You’re going to bring me fame and fortune and then be stuck hearing me bitch about how burdensome it all is, so at the very least I should take my fingers out of my ears and listen to what you want.

So then, my ears are now clear (let’s forget my conscience for the moment)…what do YOU want from this blog?