An exciting new opportunity with my novel has me spending my summer revising like crazy, leaving me little time to attend to the blog or respond to the messages that have been coming in via my Contacts page. But I’ve finally forced myself to take a break from the manuscript and kill two birds with one post–a blog post that is, with apologies to those sensitive about our fine feathered friends being harmed in even a figurative sense.

First up, a message from Dettor4410@yahoo.com:

“Heya i’m initially right here. I stumbled upon this particular panel and i also find It genuinely helpful & that taught me to be out and about a whole lot. I hope to offer one thing again as well as help other people like you assisted myself.”

Dear Dettor,

I know what you mean. I’m initially right here, but very often find myself going over there or even over there, and all of a sudden I’ve totally lost my point of origin. But it seems you appreciate the value of being out and about on a regular basis regardless of whether you’re here or there or even if you’re stumbling over a particular panel at the time. By the way, you don’t specify if the panel came out of a ceiling or wall, but either way, good luck out there.

Happy to be of assistance to yourself,

Bryan

And here’s a thoughtful message from peqljgpgu@gmail.com, aka “Mandy”:

“We have decided to open our POWERFUL and PRIVATE web traffic system to the public for a limited time! You can sign up for our UP SCALE network with a free trial as we get started with the public’s orders. Imagine how your bank account will look when your website gets the traffic it deserves. Visit us today…”

Dear “Mandy,”

As someone with a public blog, boy do I understand about the public’s orders. In fact, don’t get me started on the public’s orders, CEASE AND DESIST and the like.  I’ve never thought about responding back with my own words in all caps. THANK YOU FOR THE IDEA. Oh, and my bank account thanks you too as we both prefer a free trial rather than having to pay someone to represent me in court.

Thanks for reading,

Bryan

P.S. And absolutely don’t get me started on traffic. I once spent 3 days on the 405 trying to get home from work.

Finally, this came in recently from Ukosata1619@yahoo.com, who when not reading my blog apparently runs an adult dating site.

“Hello there, i read your site every so often and that i individual an identical one and i also was just asking yourself if you achieve lots of unsolicited mail comments? If so how will you reduce it, any wordpress tool or perhaps whatever you can easily recommend? I purchase so much of late it’s driving me nuts consequently just about any assistance is very much treasured.”

Dear Ukosata,

You’ve raised an interesting existential question. How can one be both an individual and identical to his fellow man? Unfortunately there aren’t any tools to reduce the difficulty of the journey one must embark on to find this treasured answer. And yes, consequently, “nuts” might end up being the perfect description for your state of mind. However, if you do decide to go for it, a little bit of advice: this sojourn isn’t like an adult dating service; I would generally accept any and all unsolicited advances along the way.

Bon Voyage,

Bryan

Well, what a relief to cross off another item on the t0-do list! Now it’s back to the novel for me. Have a great rest of the summer everybody.