Tag Archives: devil

Guest Blogger – Eugenia Spotty

Photo by Kevin Dooley

I’ve been working recently on a pretty intensive screenwriting project, leaving my blog untended for longer than I’d like. Figured it was time to enlist the aid of some guest bloggers to help carry the load. Today’s featured post is from one of my downstairs neighbors, retired church secretary Eugenia Spotty. Thank you, Eugenia!

 

Goodness. So much space to fill. Didn’t quite know what I was agreeing to here. But I did so okay then.

I guess I just do it huh. Here I go. Bogging. Yep. Yep. Yep. I’m bogging now. And when I write this too? Is that bogging? I guess it is. Am I done? Yikes. Lots of blank space down there still.

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That’s cheating I know. But it looks kind of neat all those dollar signs lined up like that. Makes me want to spend money. Could use some new rubber bands actually.

Yes, I know it’s cheating Darlene!!! Thank you for coming in here and spitting Oreos all over just to say that!!!

Boy that’s three exclamation points each up there. I should probably fix that. Don’t want you to think I can actually raise my voice as loud as three exclamation points. That would put me only two exclamation points away from God. Not there yet.

Sorry. Back to bogging. What did Bryan say? Treat it like a diary kind of?

March 28– My grand niece Darlene is here visiting for spring break. Does not give a fig what she puts in her mouth. Actually, figs would be a nice change of pace. Child eats way too many Oreos if you ask me. But does her mother ask me? Nope. Just ships her out here with two packs of the devil’s cookies and now I’ve got to deal with it.

Boy that’s really gossipy. Or maybe that’s what bogging is? I don’t know. I should probably take that part out in case Darlene comes back in the room.

Heck you know what, eye for an eye, I’ll just gossip about myself to make up for it.

March 28 – I’m too agreeable sometimes. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. Susan who checks me out at the Rite Aid thinks so too. First about taking Darlene for a week and then about the Oreos and then about this bog. I can hear Susan now. Eugenia dear you’re just too agreeable, honestly. Only it takes her awhile to get it out because she coughs a lot. She has one of those cigarette voices. I always think, any day now when I’m vacuuming up the dead flowers at the church cemetery I’ll see a tombstone with her name on it. Though I guess I don’t know if I’d know it was her because I don’t know her last name and the tombstone wouldn’t just say Susan on it.

Boy that’s pretty gossipy about Susan. Guess I’ve got to give another eye so to speak. But what’s that saying about eye for an eye until everyone’s blind? So maybe it’s silly for me to go blind when I doubt Susan will ever read this bog. She told me herself all she reads is body rippers or something like that. They sound like the books Pastor Gary says Eve would’ve checked out of Hell’s library. Should probably bring her my Bible the next time I’m in for rubberbands.

So is that it? Am I done with the bogging?

Oh lord Darlene’s back and she’s wiping her Oreo fingers all over the cat. Poor Folgers!! Mommy’s coming to save you. Gotta go now. Goodness there’s still so much blank space down there.

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