Mike Nubarb's Dream Security Monitor

Here’s the second in a series of guest blogs. Please welcome Mike Nubarb!

Hey, I’m Mike, I’m the manager at Store and Go Storage in Palms, Los Angeles, California. Basically all day I’m just watching my computer. Cuz all the security cameras broadcast back to my monitor so the screen’s divided up into maybe twelve different screens within one screen. It’s like I’m watching twelve different movies at once. And I sign off on rental contracts. So yeah, my day can be kind of exhausting but at the same time it’s pretty cool being the manager because I can take unlimited smoke breaks, and I’m pretty sure the regular employees only get two ten minute breaks during an eight-hour shift. But don’t get the wrong idea here. What I mean is that perk was a big deal when I was smoking but I quit almost a month ago. So don’t write me off ladies.

I could go on about my job and what I do all day, but to be honest I like to leave my job at the job. I don’t bring my work home with me. And the ladies are into honest guys, right? That’s a big deal for them. So okay ladies, right off the bat you know (a) I’m honest and (b) I don’t smoke. Two checks in the pro column for Mike.

Actually there should be three checks in the pro column because (c) I’m in Upper-Middle Management. Okay, wait, Honest Mike needs to step in for a second. I don’t know that I’m actually in Upper-Middle Management, I haven’t ever seen a corporate chart for Store and Go. But I picture it kind of like the NCAA bracket, and I’m seeing myself at least in the Sweet Sixteen.

That speaks to another thing you should know about me. I like sports, so I’ll probably make a lot of sports references like the above the more we spend time together. I’m from Ohio originally and since I’ve been living out here I’ve done a lot of apologizing for the Browns, Indians and Cavaliers. Suck it LeBron! So anyway, I’ve kind of adopted the Clippers as my new team. Yeah, yeah, yeah, make room for Mike on the bandwagon. Hilarious, guys. Beat LA!

Wait, you know I mean Beat the Lakers, right? Because they suck.

Now I get it that a lot of the ladies out there don’t like sports, they like to watch girly movies instead. That’s fine. I love girly movies. I’ve seen Sucker Punch and I’d totally see Sucker Punch 2 and Sucker Punch 3 if they ever get their asses in gear and make them. Hello Hollywood, are you listening?

Okay, so there’s a little taste of Mike Nubarb. I’ve been promised at least another blog post so I don’t want to give you a full meal just yet. Consider this like an appetizer I’ve brought to the relationship table.

Been great getting to know you. Talk soon. Late.