Howard U hosted President Obama and University of Pennsylvania boasted Lin-Manuel Miranda.

But no graduating class of 2016 will quite experience the bounty of inspiration that swept the 300 students departing this year from the Hobart J. Warthong Manhattan Graduate School of Business Ethics.

Last Sunday’s ceremony was highlighted by an uplifting and soul-stirring commencement address by an Epson MX-80 dot matrix printer. Blog correspondent Philangeleo Cubbins (also covering the orange creamsicle wars in the Bronx) crashed the party to capture some audio of the MX-80’s remarks.

Here’s an especially poignant moment:

 

Oh, and here’s a hilarious yet instructive anecdote:

 

Ah, but nothing brought the Warthong Class of 2016 to its feet like the MX-80’s rousing conclusion:

 

Rest assured, America, the future of business ethics has never been brighter!