Illustration by El Gordo
If you’re like me and write from home, you know there’s no shortage of enticing distractions that desire to consume your attention and pull you off course. You’ve got your Internet and its evil henchmen Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. You’ve got your emails, your texting, your IM’ing. If you’re old school you’ve got your TV, your radio, or a phone that actually rings that you actually answer and use to talk to people. And of course there’s always a shelf that needs dusting, a rug that needs beating, and a very persuasive bottle of glue that needs sniffing.
Despite these challenges, I’m proud to say I’ve done a good job over the years of maintaining focus while in the act of writing, of steeling myself against any unnecessary divertissements. And yet the universe continues to test me–taunt me is more like it– with no end of new diversions.
Lately it’s the talking birds.
You know what I’m saying, writers, you’ve heard them too. So many opinions about everything, right? From how to turn the economy around (giant bird feeders on every street corner would require a huge workforce to pull off) to saving the US Postal Service (carrier-pigeons work for worms, unemployed postal carriers can build the giant bird feeders), to reversing climate change (allow more nests to be built in more smokestacks).
Sure the world can always use more problem solvers, but their timing is awful. It never fails. There I am tapping away on my computer having locked in on a steady rhythm, and there they are tapping their beaks against the window near my writing desk. I don’t want to acknowledge them but they won’t stop tapping until I do, and oh look, it’s Mr. and Mrs. Crow all fluffing-feather-excited about something. “Hey Bry, you busy? Wanna hear about our brilliant new low-cal regurgitation diet? That’s okay, you go ahead and bang your head against the desk and we’ll just tell you anyway.”
I remember the bumper stickers that said KILL YOUR TELEVISION, and as stated above TV is most definitely a distraction. Using this logic I guess I should shoot all the talking birds; however, a very similar strategy didn’t make me many friends in the neighborhood back when talking squirrels weren’t extinct.
What’s the solution here? I need help. How do you deal with your talking birds?
My talking birds consist of old episodes of Twin Peaks streaming in the background as I work diligently retouching photos. Or, perhaps, singing birds in the form of music that emanates from my speakers whilst I am developing iOS applications. When put to task, I delve into the super-multi-task, with many screens and gadgets undulating in concert throughout my peripheral field. I find solace in the dulling of the senses that is the result of their constant bombardment…often obtaining enlightened ideas amidst the electronic din.
Nice, Jim. You know I’ve never tried writing with the Log Lady in the background. Maybe that’s the ticket. But I tend not to be a great multi-tasker. If the TV is on I have to watch it, music, I need to listen. I have to be monastic about my writing time. I’m a bit freakish.
I can’t write at home. It’s too fun at home. Too many places to take a nap. I have to go to a coffee shop that’s loud, bustling and maybe doesn’t have the best WIFI connection so I’m relatively in the zone. Also I find making your own meth out of household materials is a money-saving way to achieving absolutely concentration.
BUT SERIOUSLY. Caffeine? Caffeine helps me focus. You feel zippy and like you can type as fast as you think.
I know many a writer who works at a coffeeshop. I can’t do it. Too many people, too many conversations. But you have a special gift, Sherrie!
Can I get that meth recipe?