Tag Archives: KIm Kardashian

Let’s Get Serious

1 Reply
Photo by Ananian

Photo by Ananian

*September fades into October and with it any last traces of the frivolity and mindlessness of summer. We make our last fart noises of the season and then lock away childish things inside the vacation home that is our immaturity. When the temperature drops and the leaves change and Jean-Luc Godard has a new film coming out, the time has come to get serious.

Time to reengage the intellect and flex the brain, challenge ourselves away from the intravenous drip of unreality, from the quick easy morphine shots of J.D. Robb and “Sing Your Face Off.” We are no longer glazed doughnuts passively gazing through the cellophane window of our doughnut box. We are thick, layered pastries out of our cages; we are thinkers and we are brooders; we start using semicolons in our sentences, and that can only mean we are getting very, very serious.

Seriously.

No, really. For example: I’m getting serious and putting on my business hat with one novel and my deep sea diving gear in the creation of another. And of course continuing to work on my treatise concerning the vagaries of quantum foam theory.

How about you? What are you getting serious about this very serious Fall season?

 

*Hooray, we’re back online! BryanHilson.com settled its case with Internet and has been reinstated on the World Wide Web. And all of us here are getting along famously with our new intern, Irwin Chattendale. When he’s not bored with the Kim Kardashian: Hollywood app or writing “Outlander” fan fiction, Irwin makes a mean cinnamon raisin bagel breakfast sandwich. Great to have you aboard, Irwin!

There Will Be No August Blog Post

Leave a reply

FROM THE OFFICE OF THE INTERNET:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE.  Due to a breach of the provision stipulated in Paragraph 6.1 (a) of the Blogging Services Agreement (rev. 1/1/14) between bryanhilson.com and Internet, whereupon “BLOGGER shall honor a cooling-off period of 180 days before cannibalizing his own ideas for want of future blog posts…” bryanhilson.com is hereby suspended from Internet until such time that said breach is remedied effective to breached party’s terms and conditions as detailed in Appendix X-1 of the Agreement.

Internet’s Contract Solvency Division (“CSD”) reports that the rupture occurred on July 10, 2014 when bryanhilson.com published a post entitled “Ask A Revolving Door,” only 102 days after publishing a post entitled “Ask A Post-Apocalyptic Dystopia” on March 30, 2014. After conducting its investigation (and producing a high resolution graphic comparative analysis to be featured in the September 2014 edition of High Resolution Graphic Comparative Analyses ), CSD determined it a case of “creative cannibalism” warranting immediate termination and indefinite suspension.

Contrary to what has been insinuated in other news sources (whose Internet contracts are also under CSD review), this termination of blogging services is in no way a retaliation against bryanhilson.com for failing to hire one Irwin Chattendale, 20, for its open intern position. While it is true that Mr. Chattendale is Internet’s second cousin’s youngest son (send all correspondence regarding the Internet Artificial Insemination Program 1995-2007 care of the CSD),  it should be expressly noted that neither Internet nor its agents, associates, representatives, or subsidiaries has ever attempted to influence administrative operations at bryanhilson.com.

Although we feel Mr. Chattendale to be a qualified–if not over-qualified–candidate for the position, we do acknowledge that his decision to delay pursuing his degree in  urban planning in order to concentrate on mastering “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood” may have adversely affected his desirability. However, to be clear, Mr. Chattendale, his qualifications,  and his taste in application software are immaterial to the facts binding bryanhilson.com to our fully enforceable and final decision.