Hey, hi, Happy Belated New Year!

So, here’s the deal, I’m a bit behind with posting a “Best Of ” list for 2016. Crazily enough, for as gloomy as it seemed, the year provided me with a surplus of topics. But I need some help. I’ve narrowed it down to ten “Top Tens,” but I can’t decide which one to publish. How about you be the decider? Thanks, reader(s)!

THE YEAR THAT WAS 2016

Top Ten Rationalizations For Why I Kept Touching Your Food In The Office Fridge

Top Ten Moments When I Realized Too Late I Don’t Have Telekinesis

Top Ten Explanations For How That Jackhammer Ended Up Here And Not In Detroit

Top Ten Hallucinations While Trapped And Dehydrated In That Forbidding Chasm Store

Top Ten Apologies For When You Find The Lap Band They Took Out Of Me In Your Suitcase

Top Ten Fake Phone Calls I Took To Avoid Talking To My Imaginary Friend

Top Ten Harangues When A Simple Harumph Would Have Sufficed

Top Ten Organ Transplants I Wish I’d Been Too Drunk To Perform

Top Ten Negotiating Tactics For When I Have That Dream Again About Kim Jung Un And His Levitating Cage Of Silicon Valley Minotaurs

Top Ten Thoughts I Didn’t Keep To Myself After You Left About The Crappy Tuna Casserole You Baked At The Last Minute Only Because You Felt Guilty About Not Remembering It Was A Potluck When We Ran Into Each Other At The Store And You Didn’t Compliment My New Haircut